feels like everything's starting to hit me; i lost my bearings ten minutes ago

[cleverness]

Hermione's eyes are red from crying. It's been only a few hours since Ron suddenly turned up in Darrow, but already, the city feels entirely different in having him here. Closing up shop for the day was the easiest decision Hermione's made since arriving, and moving Ron into the Nook went without saying. Since his arrival, Hermione's found it hard to tear herself away from his side, hands constantly reaching for his arm and needing the reassurance of having him physically by her side.

Only once she reminds herself that he hasn't been away from her side for all that long does Hermione finally relent, giving Ron an opportunity to explore the city for herself. There's nothing wrong with having missed him as much as she has, but she's never wanted to be the stifling type either.

Exhausted, she lays her head on the dining room table, soon falling asleep.

She wakes up to the sound of Remus' grindylow tapping angrily against the glass and making faces in her direction. Eyes narrowing, Hermione sighs as she gets to her feet, a soft smile on her lips.

"I'm sorry for having missed your mealtime, but you don't have to behave like that, you know. A gentler tap would have gotten the message across far more politely," Hermione points out, grabbing a few small sardines from the ice box and dropping them by the grindylow, who dips down and attacks them immediately. "Isn't it Remus' turn to be feeding you?"

Comments

[primuslune]

"Sorry," Remus says, bustling into the doorway with a bag of groceries under one arm and shutting the door with the other, giving it a good thump to make sure that it stays closed and latched and doesn't blow open later that night. "I am sorry, Hermione," he adds, peering at her over the scraggly leaves of a head of celery.

He deposits the bag on the nearest flat surface and starts unwinding himself from his jacket, trying to stop himself from being rushed. Now that he's back, and Hermione has already taken care of his chores for the night, at any rate.

"I didn't mean to be so late. With Ron here and everything ... I know. Well, you know. I just thought I'd get ahead on making sure he'd have everything he might need. Toothbrushes. Socks. You know, if he gives you lip."

Remus nods to the grindylow. "Just give him a good telling off, if you know what I mean. That's how they are."

[cleverness]

Hermione walks over to the counter, standing on tiptoe to glance at the contents inside of the bag and starting to coax them out with a wave of her wand. The fridge door opens in time to receive the vegetables, lined neatly up in the crisper, while dairy products line the shelves above and less perishable condiments kept in the door. There's a clear increase in the volume of goods, and Hermione can't help the pleased smile that spread across her face.

Everything that isn't food remains on the countertop, to be tended to when Ron returns. Hermione could take the liberty, but sometimes there's a pleasantness to putting items together with another person the old-fashioned way.

"No apologies necessary. I'm not sure whether or not he'll ever appreciate me very much," Hermione says, offering the grindylow a slightly apologetic look. "Although I couldn't tell you what it is about me that it takes issue with. Anyway. Thank you for shopping on Ron's behalf. I might have done it myself, but I came back and... passed out on the table, apparently." Sheepishly, Hermione points to where her cheek still feels warm, the imprint of her sleeve and the table remaining in an angry pink.

[primuslune]

"You and Ron," Remus says, mildly, fondly, "Had quite an emotional reunion. I'm sure you've had a long day. If you took the rest, you probably needed it. I'll make some tea. You still look exhausted."

He shakes his head at the grindylow tank before moving toward the kitchen, scrubbing at his upper arms. It's warm in the house, but it's still the time of year, where the temperature dips quickly after the sun goes down.

"I am glad for the two of you, you know."

[cleverness]

"I wouldn't trade this kind of exhaustion for the world. But... I also won't say no to a mug of tea," Hermione replies, her cheeks lightly colored as she drops her chin in a palm. There were some people who had treated her relationship with Ron as a matter of course when they first decided to make the leap — but, Hermione reminds herself, the last time Remus saw them together was when they were fourteen.

Before Ron even began to see her as a girl.

"We've been together since the war ended, four years after your time. Though there had been some tension before that. Constantly circling one another, you know, without really considering what could happen. The shift from platonic friendship to romance is a strange one."

[primuslune]

"I .. wouldn't know," Remus admits with a soft, unburdened shrug He'd never been involved in anything like romance before, had always had greater concerns and not enough stability, for that matter, and truthfully, he doesn't feel awful about this fact. Doesn't regret it, even. It's simply the way that things have worked out.

He's glad they've managed to work out differently, for Harry, and for Ron and Hermione. He gives her a warm, sideways smile before gathering together what's necessary for their drinks and filling the kettle. He gives it a soft whack with his wand, and it gives an answering, quiet hiss before falling silent again.

"But I'm happy for you, I really, really am. I'm sure it'll make things easier on the both of you. Is it alright to say that, when it means that Ron's here, as well? Ah, might as well be here together. Right?"

[cleverness]

It's not hard to imagine that telling Remus about the romance that will be in store for him in their world might be more stress than it's worth. Hermione isn't sure whether or not she'd want to know any details about her own future back home, in spite of coming from a time far less volatile and uncertain than things were during her third year. The complication comes from the juxtaposition of their times. Being from a later year means potentially slipping, and it makes it hard for Remus to predict how Hermione may act, based on the long, blank period between the two of them.

Beyond that, there's the worry of missed potential. Can people be compelled to do more if they know that they're capable of it?

Harry saw himself performing a Patronus Charm, and it gave him the courage he needed to protect himself and Sirius from harm.

"I'm starting to think of this place as another path for all of us, separate from the one we were on in our home world. There's no other way to react for the time being, is there? We can't assume we'll make it back, and we can't keep ourselves from enjoying the present because of it. It's unfortunate that Ron will miss his family while he's here, but he is here, so we may as well make the best of it, as you've said." Hermione tilts her head, resting her cheek against her palm. "Do you mind if I ask, who would you selfishly bring here if you could? Is it Harry?"

[primuslune]

Hermione's change of direction in the conversation is accepted mildly, though Remus still lowers his eyes to the backs of his hands silently for an uncomfortably long stretch before finding the words to answer her, as honestly as possible. There are a number of things he might have said ... but he knows, they would really have just been some sort of misguided attempt to save face. Hermione doesn't need him to save face, she needs honesty, and he ought to provide some of it.

At least, he ought to avoid dishonesty if he knows better about himself.

"It would be Harry. It ... really would. I hope that you don't judge me too harshly for it, I know that I've shown him far too much deference and favor. I've lost a lot, and I've come to terms with that. But it's difficult to come to terms with possibly losing Harry when it barely seems like I had a chance to meet him."

[cleverness]

"I don't know if judging would be the right word for how I feel. Trying... to understand, but certainly not immediately condemning," Hermione says, sitting straighter and trying to herself of the telltale slouch she's worn ever since her school years. Even since starting to work at the Ministry, it's been hard to shake some habits. Not that she doesn't try.

"You see, to me, Harry was removed from any sort of pedestal the very moment we had our first conversation on the Hogwarts Express. From the moment I realized, in spite of all the amazing feats that he was attributed to, at the bottom of it all was just a regular boy who needed to grow up as much as any of us. I don't see him and think of anyone else. He's a dear friend, but my reasons for missing him are completely opposite. I've known him forever. It's strange, having that pulled away."

She takes in a deep breath, watching Remus thoughtfully. The closest approximation she might have to Remus' situation is that of little Teddy, but even then — having known Teddy practically since birth, he's become his own person, rather than the son Remus and Tonks never had the chance to raise.

[primuslune]

Remus thinks about Hermione's response for a moment, but frowns lightly once he's digested it. He pours them both a cup of tea, his hands lingering on the warm handle of the pot.

"It isn't that I put Harry on a pedestal, believe me -- nor have I ever. Nor would I ever. But it is also impossible to view him outside of my context. Not completely outside of it. Maybe that's the trouble with relating to someone so much younger. No matter how well I may get to know him, he will always remind me, at least a little, of where he came from."

[cleverness]

"Forgive me if I've overstepped somehow," Hermione says first, bowing her head in thanks for the tea before pulling it closer to herself, hands cupped around the warmth. It's too hot to drink just yet, but she doesn't bother cooling it with her wand. The luxury of time is all too rare in their lives, and she's not in any hurry to let it slip away.

"I'm just trying to understand. To what end, I'm not sure. Maybe I miss Harry enough that simply talking about him is enough to ease that somewhat," she murmurs, pulling her lower lip in briefly and hooking her ankles, toes bumping against the floor. "Is it that he reminds you of his father?"