these graces that hold me, it's from you that i borrowed

[cleverness]

There were few moments in Hermione's life as focused as that moment. Living in the countryside, it wasn't rare for the Nook to be surrounded with the sounds of nature, of birds chirping in the branches of trees and breezes rushing merrily through the tall grasses. If one listened closely, they could often make out the sound of deer hooves against the beaten paths. But none of them registered with Hermione right then, from where she sat at the foot of her bed, hands curled on her lap. Instead, there was a dull pattern that rang against her ears; it took several moments before she realized that it was the pounding of her heart, steady and strong inside her chest.

It was her birthday. Since her birthday fell on a weekday that year, she had insisted to Ron that both of them still go to work for the day, especially considering how they would have the rest of the weekend to celebrate if they wanted, but she had still closed shop a little early in order to get home and prepare herself for dinner that evening. Her mind had been scattered for the entire week, and a vague sense of fatigue lingered that she imagined was a result of her long nights spent poring over notes, and her plans for opening a school in Darrow to serve the much needed gap of instructing those with paranormal interests or abilities. Returning to academia had never been in her plans back home, because the need was elsewhere, in providing the underprivileged with equal rights and protections. In Darrow, the situation was different.

Hermione wanted to work where she was needed most.

But as she picked out her dress for the evening and checked to make sure their reservations were still held by the restaurant, Hermione had felt a wave of dizziness and nausea. And while there was a good chance that stress was responsible for all of it, the feeling had been persistent over the past few days. She'd made an appointment with the clinic to make sure she wasn't suffering from some contagious illness.

She had returned home, instead, with a store-bought test and a faint suggestion to check. Just in case.

The first few seconds after Hermione spotted the second line were numbing. She didn't know how to react; didn't know how to respond. Shock kept her rooted in place, even as her stomach fluttered with dawning realization, and the ground seemed to shift underneath her feet. Having children with Ron had always been part of a distant plan, a detail included when Hermione spoke of her future, five or ten years down the road. But no matter how many times she'd fantasized about that ideal future, it had always remained exactly that, an idea more than a frequent consideration, not to be further explored until the time was right.

Knowing changed everything. Only when Hermione's hand shifted away from the test hastily bought at the store, coming to a rest instead on her own stomach, did it start to sink in. She noticed her vision blurring before she realized that the tears had already started to fall down her cheeks, and it took a few minutes before she was able to calm herself. Happiness, she thought. The sheer force of the incomparable joy she felt pushed out every other emotion, until it was practically overflowing. She didn't know how to process it. All she knew was that she needed Ron home right then so that she could share with him the news.

They were about to start a family.

Not wanting to alarm Ron at the station, Hermione gradually began picking her things up, carefully checking her reflection in the mirror to make sure her eyes weren't red, that she wouldn't give Ron any reason to panic when he Apparated back home. There was nothing to worry about, after all. This was always the life they were meant to have.

Comments

[deluminate]

Hermione had convinced him that they were both better off going in to work today. There'd be the weekend for celebrating her birthday, and since Ron had already taken more days away from work for the wedding than he probably should have, he didn't think they'd let him have another so soon anyway.

It'd turned out to be for the best, because most of the week had come and gone and Ron still hadn't settled on a present. He was lucky he'd remembered in the first place; Hermione was the one who was good with dates and he sometimes lost track of the days of the week. And more than ever, he had a feeling that he'd get an earful from more than just his wife if he managed to forget her birthday. But he'd bought Hermione flowers before Apparating home that evening, to go along with a small bottle of perfume he'd bought earlier in the week.

Still, he arrived home a bit later than he anticipated, Apparating just outside of the Nook before he rushed indoors.

"Hermione?" he called, "I'm home! Sorry, I didn't think they'd keep me so late. The Captain's lost it, honestly. Told him it was your birthday a week and a half ago..."

The flowers still in one hand, he'd already started undoing the buttons of his shirt with the other. He still had to change before they could go anywhere and hoped Hermione knew of a spot close to the restaurant that they could Apparate to without attracting any attention.

[cleverness]

Hearing Ron come through the door shook Hermione back to attention, drawing in a shaky breath as she rose to her feet and brushed nonexistent wrinkles out of her skirt. Her gaze lingered on her reflection, quickly testing her smile a few times, but there was no hiding the flush of the cheeks or the way that her heart pounded insistently against her chest.

As much as Hermione liked the idea of telling Ron the good news over dinner, she knew that she wouldn't be able to restrain herself for so long. With one last sniffle, Hermione made her way down the hall, quickly descending the stairs. By the time she made it halfway, Ron was already on his way up, and Hermione's breath caught at the sight of the bouquet he was holding. Any other day, it would have been a sweet gesture. Today, she felt herself tearing up immediately.

"Oh, Ron," she breathed, quickly wrapping her arms around Ron's waist in a tight embrace. "The flowers are beautiful. You didn't have to, but they're simply lovely, thank you." Worrying her lower lip for a second, Hermione smiled as she pressed a quick kiss to Ron's lips.

"Don't worry about the reservations; I called to let them know that we'd be a little late," she reassured him, before dropping one hand in his and leading him up the rest of the stairs. "I was actually hoping that we could talk before heading out. I've some important news to share with you."

She could feel her hand trembling, and quickly tightened her grip in hopes of reassuring Ron. Or perhaps she was reassuring herself. It was hard to tell which.

[deluminate]

"Are you alright? Is everyone alright?" Ron asked, frowning as she tightened her grip on his hand and they headed up to their room. Something was definitely off, though he couldn't put his finger on it. The whole thing seemed a bit formal, in the moment, her making a point of leading him upstairs by the hand instead of just coming out with it.

And she looked like maybe she'd been crying a bit.

"Is it Mum? Are Mum and Charlie alright?" Though, if that was the case, he couldn't imagine Hermione wouldn't have come to fetch him at work. She'd know that was the sort of thing that shouldn't wait, if anything had happened to any of their family.

[cleverness]

"Would I wait to tell you until you were home if something was wrong? Don't worry, Ron," Hermione said, casting a quick smile over her shoulder. She knew that she was probably only serving to confuse Ron further, but Hermione didn't think that blurting out the news on the steps was the best idea. At the very least, the both of them needed to be sitting down. And with an open invitation having been extended to the rest of the family, their bedroom was the most private space in the house.

Hermione didn't want to keep the news from family, but it was important to her to share it with Ron first. To embark on the journey together, just the two of them.

Or three now, she reminded herself, feeling another flutter of excitement in her stomach.

"Come, sit with me," Hermione said, her smile widening as she turned around to lead Ron back into the room, towards the foot of the bed.

[deluminate]

Once they reached their bedroom, Ron sat on the edge of the bed as instructed, frowning as he held onto Hermione's flowers with both hands now. At least he knew now that it wasn't something wrong with their family, but he still felt a bit sick to his stomach just then, trying to work out exactly what it was that she might have to tell him.

He was about to tell her to just come out with it already, if it was bad news, because it felt a bit cruel or her to leave him in suspense like this, but then he saw the grin on her face.

"So it's good news, then?" he asked.

[cleverness]

Hermione reached forward, carefully lifting the flowers away from Ron's hands and setting them to the side. It wasn't that she didn't appreciate the flowers. Soon, she would trim the stems, and let the bright color light up the dining room, the hue perfect for that delicate shift from summer to autumn. But she didn't want to risk anything happening to the blooms in the wake of such an important announcement.

Instead, Hermione slipped her hands into Ron's, brushing her thumbs over his knuckles and gazing down with a shy expression. Her heart continued to pound against her chest. She felt dizzy without even moving, and she had to remind herself to breathe.

"It's good news," she affirmed with a nod, glancing up. "Ron... I'm pregnant."

[deluminate]

Ron thought he'd heard her wrong at first, and frowned, blinking. She must've said something else. Either that, or Hermione had decided to play what had to be the first joke she'd decided to play on him in ages. He laughed then, nervously and because he didn't know what else to say to that.

"That's not funny, Hermione," he said.

It wasn't that having children with Hermione was something he didn't want— he reckoned they'd end up there eventually, since it'd come up between them briefly before now— but they hadn't even been married a month, had they? He felt like they'd barely settled into their new lives, it was too soon for a baby. So Hermione must've been trying to put one over on him.

[cleverness]

Hermione felt her stomach drop at Ron's reaction, though she did her best to calm herself down shortly thereafter. All things considered, it wasn't too much of a surprise that Ron wasn't meeting the news with immediate excitement. Even Hermione herself had needed time to let the news sink in before she knew how to react at all, because it was so soon, it was so fast, and even if some of their friends and former classmates were already having children, the reality of having one's own was another level entirely.

"Ron," she said quietly, lowering her gaze for a second before raising it again, giving his hands another squeeze. "Ron, this isn't a joke. I went to see a physician earlier today because I'd been feeling under the weather, and she made the recommendation that I take a test, because I'm late. And this is why."

She took a deep breath. There was no need to panic, Hermione told herself. If Ron took a little extra time to process the information, if he was scared, if he thought it was too soon — all of those reactions were understandable.

[deluminate]

Hermione hadn't broken her resolve to tell him that yes, she'd been joking, and instead, he thought her expression was even more serious, if at all possible, after what he'd said. This was about as far from a joke as it got. The frown faded from Ron's face, replaced by a wide-eyed look of quiet surprise.

"Bloody hell," he breathed, then all at once felt like he couldn't breathe, like someone had sucked all the air out of the room. Was he even ready to be a dad? He didn't know the first thing about it. And his own dad wasn't even around to ask about it.

"Bloody hell," Ron repeated, and he couldn't help a glance at Hermione's stomach before he met her gaze again, "You're sure? It's not— there's no way it's a mistake or they've mixed things up?"

[cleverness]

Hermione exhaled deeply, closing her eyes so that Ron wouldn't have to see just how upset the question made her feel. Perhaps she had expected for there to be a little bit of fear before the happiness, but all signs seemed to indicate that Ron wholly felt that it was too early to be having children. And the implication that he would probably rather she not be pregnant twisted uncomfortably in Hermione's chest.

"Ron, the chance that the test was accurate is far greater than the remote possibility that there might have been an error," she pointed out, pressing her lips tightly together. "So it's better for us to assume that yes, I'm pregnant." She shifted on the bed, regretting her choice to get changed into her dress so early. She had half a mind to cancel the dinner reservations entirely.

Maybe she should have held off on the news until after.

"Talk to me. Are you feeling nervous, or... or do you not want to have a baby right now?" Hermione asked, tilting her head and trying to understand.

[deluminate]

He looked thoughtfully up at her, and he frowned again, thinking. "Blimey, it's just—" he started, then stopped, not entirely sure where that sentence was going to go at all. He loved Hermione, there was no doubting that, and this was somewhere they'd both been sure they'd end up eventually. And honestly, when he thought about it, the whole thing was sort of amazing. Just like that, he was going to be a dad. She was going to a mum. They were going to be parents.

In less than a year, there'd be this little person that they'd both created. This... this was magic.

"Blimey." Ron's expression changed again then, a small smile slowly broadening into a grin until he thought his cheeks might burst. He leaned and kissed Hermione square on the lips.

"I— I'm so nervous I think I might pass out. But... but it's alright, I think."

[cleverness]

Hermione's skin continued to tingle with nerves as she watched Ron in trepidation. There was never any moment of doubt that eventually, Ron would come around to the idea of being a father. That he would love their child, and work hard to provide for her or him in whatever way that he could. But Hermione also wanted Ron to be happy, and not to strain their marriage so shortly after they had wed. She watched so intently that, somehow, the last thing that she expected was a kiss, and she tensed up for a moment before relaxing briefly against the touch.

Not ready to let him go yet, Hermione leaned forward, wrapping her arms around Ron's shoulders. Now that she knew he was getting over the initial shock, Hermione could let herself lean on him, and realized how much she still needed his strength. How much they were still ultimately stronger when together.

"You scared me," she protested with a laugh, blinking quickly again as she felt tears threaten to fall. She pressed her forehead against his temple, then leaned over slightly so that she could press another kiss to his lips. "Of course it's alright. It's unbelievable, isn't it? We're having a baby. A little person both of us made together."

[deluminate]

"Sorry," Ron said, his response a bit of a laugh, and he hugged her tight when she wrapped her arms around his shoulders. He almost didn't want to let go, but finally did grinning as Hermione pressed a kiss to his lips again.

It did feel a bit fast, a bit like their lives were racing ahead already. He felt a bit dizzy still, but the expression on Hermione's face and the way her eyes lit up made him feel like it was all going to be alright. This was something else that they were going to get to do together.

He hadn't meant to worry her, though, but wrapping his head around what she'd said had taken a moment.

"Wasn't really expecting that, y'know."

[cleverness]

"I wasn't either," Hermione replied with a shake of her head, though she dropped a hand back to rest in Ron's, lacing their fingers together. "We'd been so careful about protection, but I suppose... I suppose protection isn't completely foolproof, is it? I'd actually expected for it to be another year or two before we decided to start trying."

She ducked her head, cheeks still flushed from excitement and relief alike. "But when you think about it, there are some people who work so hard to try and conceive and don't have half the good fortune we've suddenly come across," Hermione continued, shaking her head with a small, almost disbelieving laugh. "And we have your mum around to help us navigate parenthood, as well as Charlie, who'll keep the household full of smiles and laughter, I'm sure. Of course I'm still nervous about being a good parent, but when I think about how much love our child will grow up experiencing, I feel like it'll be wonderful."

Hermione glanced up shyly. "It also doesn't hurt to imagine a beautiful baby crawling around with fiery red hair."

[deluminate]

Ron couldn't help but laugh at that; there wasn't much chance that he or she could have anything but red hair, really, considering his family. He almost wanted to apologize for it, but then again, he wasn't sure he could think of anything better than the idea of it.

"It's brilliant," Ron agreed, and now that he'd gotten over the shock of it all, was beside himself with excitement about it. Not that he knew the first thing about being a father or even remotely thought he was ready for it, but they both had ages to work all that out, right? Nearly a year.

He was trying not to think of the part that meant telling his Mum and his brother, and how much grief Charlie'd likely give him for it. Or that telling his Mum meant admitting just he and Hermione had managed to make a baby in the first place. He'd be twenty-five next year and still he couldn't manage to talk about any of that with her. Somehow, Ron reckoned it'd be the same when he was forty.

"It's gonna be amazing," he went on to say, feeling less and less like he was trying to convince himself of the fact, "D'you feel alright? Not sick or anything?"

[cleverness]

"I know it's far too early to be wondering if it'll be a boy or a girl, but I can't help but imagine," Hermione admitted, and when she laughed again, it was almost with tears in her eyes from trying to contain the excitement. She had always been the sort of individual to let her imagination run wild, and now that Ron was smiling, it felt as though she had permission to finally outline in detail all of the things that she had yearned for, all her life. To fill in the blanks, to put every last piece in place.

"Knowing how many boys there were in your family, I'm immediately picturing a boy. Red hair, freckled, probably getting into far more mischief than I'll ever feel comfortable with. He'll probably love Quidditch, to my great chagrin. Boy or girl, I'm sure I won't be escaping that," she mused aloud, shifting until she could tuck herself next to Ron, tugging on his hand to let his arm encircle her shoulders. "And I feel fine. A little under the weather, admittedly, but I think it's no more than a bit of fatigue. No nausea yet."

[deluminate]

Ron didn't know a lot about pregnancy-- though he suspected that was likely to change in a hurry-- mostly because he'd still been young when his Mum had had Ginny. He only knew from stories about morning sickness, really. And it wasn't until after he'd asked that he realized that it wasn't actually morning, but Hermione had said she'd seen a Muggle Healer because she'd been feeling under the weather. She didn't seem worried about it though, which was good.

Hermione tugged at his hand and he took the cue to wrap his arm around her shoulders and pull her close, pressing a brief kiss to her temple.

"You're right, it's bound to be a boy," Ron said, and the more the idea of it sunk in, the more he found that he liked it. He couldn't imagine that just the one kid could get into that much trouble, though. In his family, it'd mostly been because there were so many of them, and his parents had managed. It was only with the twins that things had gotten so out of control, really.

And at that thought, another occurred to Ron.

"You don't think there's a chance it could be twins, do you?" he asked.

[cleverness]

Hermione's eyes widened. Truth be told, she hadn't considered the possibility of twins, if only because the prospect of having a child at all already seemed like so much to process. But the thought of having two children to care for was exciting in of itself, causing Hermione's stomach to do another flip as she leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Ron's cheek, laughing in disbelief.

She didn't want them to get ahead of themselves, but it didn't hurt to be prepared for any possibility.

"I guess there's a chance. Of course there's a chance," Hermione said, her voice containing barely concealed excitement as she squeezed Ron's hand. "It runs in your family, after all. I don't think it runs in mine — at least, I haven't met any relatives who were twins. But we know how strongly the Weasley genes tend to run, after all." She glanced down, eyes unfocused but gaze lingering around her knees.

"The one thing I know is that I'd like to have more than one child. I wasn't unhappy at all as an only child, but having watched your family growing up, there were so many times I wished I could have had a sibling at home. Someone whom I could talk to about everything I experienced at Hogwarts, someone I know I could confide in and lean on. I suppose the both of us, with Harry, were together so often that we were just as tied at the hip. But I would love for our child to have that unbreakable bond in their early years." She smiled. "What do you think, Ron?"

[deluminate]

"You say that now, but do you really want to end up with a Fred and a George?" Ron replied with a bit of a laugh. He'd always looked up to his older brothers, the twins especially, when he was younger, but sitting there now, he couldn't imagine how his parents had managed the two of them on top of everyone else. It seemed like the sort of thing that'd drive them mad.

After Hermione's comment about having more than one, though, Ron realized that he hadn't really thought that far ahead. This itself was a bit of a surprise, and while they'd talked about having children before now, they hadn't really made any decisions on how many they might have when the time came.

He'd always liked having siblings growing up, as much as the twins tormented him when he was younger, and as much as his other brothers sometimes poked fun, but Ron felt like he'd gotten lost in the shuffle sometimes. Seven, he thought, was definitely too many for the two of them.

"I dunno," he continued, frowning thoughtfully for a moment, before his grin returned, "More than one might be alright. But... not seven, Hermione. Definitely not seven."

[cleverness]

"I wasn't thinking anywhere near seven," Hermione said with a small, helpless laugh. Even the thought of carrying so many children was a little daunting, especially coupled with how restricting it would be for both of their careers. As much as Hermione wanted to help raise and nurture a family, she knew that she was at her best when she had something outside of her personal life to focus on as well.

Sighing softly, Hermione shifted closer to Ron, resting her head against his shoulder and lacing her fingers with his. "I do want more than one, though. I would love to give our children that kind of security and environment at a young age. A way to foster a confidence in their family," Hermione mused, tilting her head until she could briefly press her forehead against Ron's cheek, softly affectionate. "Maybe two or three? A boy and a girl seems like it'd be perfect. Two boys might not be bad, either."

She glanced up with a grin. "I'd have first-hand experience with managing that type of combination, after all."